The Lost Heir of the House of Black

AWESOME!!!!!!!!

Superbra!

Tack så mkt allihop ♥

Har egentligen inte så mycket att anmärka på, förutom att jag skulle vilja råda dig till att korrekturläsa dina kapitel en eller ett par gånger innan du lägger upp dem (eftersom du skrev innan att du inte gör det.) Det ger ett mer städat och omsorgsfullt intryck för läsaren om du tar dig lite tid att göra det.

För övrigt var det ganska pricksäkert när Isobel jämförde Bertie Botts med rysk roulette, haha.

Bra kapitel, tummen upp till dig! ^^

Chapter 4 - Which house?

It was getting dark outside. The train arrived at the station and all the first years went off first. Isobel looked around. There were students everywhere. In front of them stood a a large man. It must be Hagrid, the half-giant Harry talked about on the train. Isobel and Ron followed Harry up to him.
-Hello Harry, the half-giant said with his deep voice.
-Hi, Hagrid, Harry replied.
-Wow! Ron burst out and looked impressed at Hagrid.
-Right, then. This way to the boats. Come on now, follow me.
All the first year’s followed him down to the harbor. Luckily, Harry, Ron and Isobel got in the same boat.
-Which house does your brothers belong to? Harry asked on the way.
-Gryffindor, Ron said drearily. Mum and dad went there too. I don’t think Ravenclaw would be too bad, but what if I end up in Slytherin...
Ron’s voice was gloomy.
-Is that house where Vol... I mean You-Know-Who went?
Ron nodded. Harry asked what Bill and Charlie did now that they didn’t attended Hogwarts anymore.
-Charlie lives in Rumania, studying dragons and Bill works for Gringotts in Africa, Ron replied.
-In Egypt! Isobel added while holding the lantern in the boat. I want to go there someday...
-Wow! Ron interrupted her.
-Wow!
Everyone else noticed what Ron meant. In front of the boats, a big, magnificent castle rose between the cliffs. Hogwarts. They all looked at it with yearning eyes. Isobel was living the dream. Soon, she and all the other first year’s was going to enter the big doors into their new lives. The boats floated lightly on the water, which lead them under the castle into the harbor inside of the cliff.
-Trevor! Neville shouted.
He climbed on to the deck and grabbed his long lost toad. His eyes teared up.
-I’m so happy I found you!
Everyone laughed and cheered.

While walking up the stairs to the great hall, Isobel and Harry took up the subject of houses again.
-Which one do you think you’ll end up in? Harry asked.
-I don’t know, Isobel replied.
For the first time, she got scared. She had no idea which house her real parents had belonged to. She didn’t know anything. Her destiny lied with the Sorting Hat.
-Didn’t your parents belong to Gryffindor? Harry asked.
-No... well, I don’t know.
-I thought Ron said...
-I don’t know where my real parents went, she replied gloomily.
-Oh, Harry uttered. I didn’t know my parents either.
Isobel smiled.
-Yeah, that’s right.
At least she wasn’t alone. The student’s mumble got silent when they noticed someone was waiting for them. At the top of the stairs there was a witch. She had dark hair that she hid in her hat, and she was wearing an emerald coloured clothing.
-Welcome to Hogwarts, she said with a scottish accent when everyone had arrived at her feet.
-I’m Professor McGonagall and shortly, you’ll pass through these doors to join your classmates. But before you take your seats you must be sorted into your houses.
Harry and Isobel looked at each other with worried eyes. Ron looked at the witch standing before them, eager to hear the rest of it.
-They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. While you’re here your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule-breaking and you will lose points
Isobel thought of Fred and George and how many points Gryffindor must’ve lost through their time at Hogwarts. Luckily, they’d only attended Hogwarts for 2 years before this. She gave the witch her full attention again.
-At the end of the year, the house with the most points will be awarded the house cup. I hope you’ll bring honour to your houses, whatever it may be. The Sorting Ceremony will begin momentarily. 

She left the students to prepare the rest of the school who was inside of the great hall. Everyone was too nervous to speak.
-It’s true, then, what they’re saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts.
Isobel turned her head to see who just spoke. It was a small boy with light colored hair, almost white. His voice was very sharp and she didn’t like his gaze, it was cruel. He must belong to a rich wizard family. Everyone was whispering and wondering which one of them who was Harry. The boy nodded to the boys who stood next to him, two extremely large boys.
-This is Crabbe and Goyle, the boy said.
He walked up to them and stared Harry straight in the eyes.
-And I’m Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.
Ron couldn’t help himself, he gave a away a grin. Draco’s eyes went straight to Ron.
-Think my name’s funny, do you?
Draco looked at Ron and his clothes.
-I’ve no need to ask yours. Red hair and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley.
Isobel cleared her throat. Draco gave her a quick gaze, but turned his head to Harry again.
-You’ll soon find out some wizard families are better than others, Potter. You don’t want to go make friends with the wrong sort. I can help you with that.
Draco took out his hand so that Harry could shake on it, like adults would to when they agreed to something. Harry just looked at Draco’s hand like it had a decease.
-I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks.
Isobel was proud of Harry, even though they only just met. She smiled. Draco looked at her again, winking with one eye. Isobel stopped smiling. Was he stupid to believe that his attitude would charm her? Gross. Luckily, McGonagall came back through the door. She gave Draco a pat on his back with a parchment role to make him to step back in line.
-We’re ready for you now. Follow me.

As the door opened, Isobel knew why it was called the great hall. When they entered it, she saw it was magnificent. She looked to see the ceiling, but noticed it was spelled. It was dark filled with light dots, must be the night sky. Under it, thousands of candles were lit to lighten up the room. Isobel walked with her mouth opened.
-The ceiling isn’t real. It’s bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History.
How did Isobel end up next to Hermione? Isobel sighed. The old students were already sitting at their house-table, staring at the new students. She walked passed Fred and George who waved at her. She smiled. It was like coming home. At the end of the great hall, there was a big table where the professors were sitting. And in front of them, was a stool and on it sat the Sorting Hat. Isobel bite her lip. This was it. McGonagall lead them up to the stool and made them stand in a half moon in front of it. Every first year’s eyes was set on the hat.
-Before we start, Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words.
Isobel looked up to see Dumbledore when he stood up from his chair.
-I have a few start-of-term notices I wish to announce. The first year, please note, that the Dark Forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, out caretaker, Mr Filch, has asked me to remind you that the third-floor-corridor is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you.
Isobel and Ron gave each other a concerned look. Dumbledore sat down again.
-When I call your name you will come forth.
Everyone looked at McGonagall again.
-I shall place the Sorting Hat on your head and you will be sorted into your hoses.
Isobel cleared her throat. She was so happy her last name started with a ”W”.
-Hannah Abbot!
A little blonde girl stepped up to the stool. She was so nervous her lips was shivering. McGonagall put the hat on her head. There was a moment of silence.
-HUFFLEPUFF!
The Hufflepuff table started to cheer and welcomed her to their table.
-Susan Bones!
The next girl walked up, she tried to look confident.
-HUFFLEPUFF!
Again there was cheering. Susan smiled and walked to the same table as Hannah. Isobel swallowed saliva. She didn’t like the waiting, but was also afraid to walk up there. A couple of kids got sorted. Then, McGonagall said:
-Hermione Granger!
Hermione widened her eyes when she realised it was her name she’d just call. She ran up to the stool and shoved the hat on her head.
-Mental that one, I’m telling ya! Ron whispered.
Isobel grinned.
-GRYFFINDOR!
Ron moaned. Isobel felt with him. It was most likely that Ron would end up in Gryffindor with her, and it was possible Isobel would too. Isobel tried to stay focused on the kids that came after her, but it was really hard.
-Draco Malfoy!
Isobel watched Draco walk up to McGonagall and to get sorted. The hat barely touched his head when it said:
-SLYTHERIN!
The Slytherin table started to cheer and Isobel could tell by Draco’s smile that it was just the house he’d wanted to be sorted into. Isobel took an extra look at the Slytherin table, it could very well be her house. She felt sick.
-Every wizard who went bad was in Slytherin, Ron told Harry.
Right after that Harry cried out in pain.
-What it is? Ron asked.
-Nothing, he replied. Nothing, I’m fine.
He was holding his hand on his scar, staring up to the Professors’ table. A few moments later the whole great hall went silenced. Isobel who had blacked out, wondered why, when she saw that Harry was on his way up to the Sorting Hat, she figured out why. She was really nervous for Harry’s sake as well. She hoped they’d end up in the same house. Everyone waited, eagerly to know which house the-boy-who-lived would end up in. This was history in its making.
-GRYFFINDOR!
In a matter of a split second, the whole room was filled with a loud cheer. Harry smiled and ran down to join Hermione and the other new students. Percy shook his hand, like many others wanted to. Fred and George was cheering the most.
-We got Potter! We got Potter!
Isobel looked at them and smiled. The new students became fewer and fewer, and soon they were just a handful left.
-Isobel Weasley!
It was time. The moment she’d been waiting for. Her knees were shaking while she walked up to McGonagall. She sat down softly. McGonagall put the hat on her little head.
-Aaah... said a voice in her head.
It was so sudden she jumped.
-Very interesting. Difficult, never less... Where to put you. I see your father went to Gryffindor... but your mother was in Slytherin...
These news shocked her. It was the first things she ever found out about her parents.
-What was my parents names? Isobel asked.
The hat ignored her question.
-I see you would do great in any of those houses, you got characteristic’s that matches both... but where to put you?
-Not Slytherin... I beg you. Isobel felt like she was going to cry.
-Not Slytherin? But Slytherin is a great house, you have the thirst to prove yourself and therefore Slytherin would be perfect... But I can sense you’re more like your father in a way...
-I don’t care anymore... Isobel wanted to cry.
-I’ve made my choice... GRYFFINDOR!

Bra kapitel!

Återigen hittade jag en del slarvfel, men jag ska inte gå igenom dem alla.

"-Gryffindor, Ron said dreary." Det borde vara "drearily" i stället. "-I don’t know where my real parents went, she replied gloomy." Här borde det vara "gloomily" i stället. När man beskriver på vilket sätt någon t.ex. säger något, som i det här fallet, ska man lägga till "-ily" eller "-ly" i slutet på adjektivet, så att det i stället blir ett adverb.

"Luckily, they’ve only attended Hogwarts for 2 years before this." Här byter du plötsligt till presens i och med "they've", vilket borde vara "they'd" i stället. Det händer igen här: "Is he stupid to believe that his attitude would charm her?" Byt ut "is" mot "was." Plus att det låter bättre med "Was he stupid enough [...] charm her?"

Ja, jag vet, jag är en extrem språknörd!

Är det medvetet som du drar en del paralleller mellan Isobel och Harry? Dels att ingendera känner sina föräldrar, om än på grund av olika omständigheter, dels att de på varsitt håll ber Sorteringshatten om att inte hamna i Slytherin, där den tycker att de båda skulle passa bra. I vilket fall som helst är det en intressant detalj.

Chapter 5 - The first night

Everything was moving in slow motion after that point.
GRYFFINDOR! echoed in her head.
She felt dizzy, but still managed to get to the Gryffindor table somehow. Fred and George were cheering, like everyone else at the table. Percy even hugged her, which had never happened before, except from when they were taking photos when they were younger.
- Percy is hugging me! Isobel mimed to the twins who just stood there with their mouths open.
Harry gave her a pat on the shoulder when she sat down next to him. Hermione sat in front of her smiling. Isobel smiled back. She didn’t know how to feel. A small part of her felt like home, which was good enough for her. It was like a piece of a puzzle was finally in the right place, but there was still many pieces left to fill.
- It’s Ron’s turn! Fred whispered.
Isobel looked up to see her brother get sorted. She saw he was nervous, a common feature with Ron.
- GRYFFINDOR!
Ron sighed with relief. He ran up to Isobel and hugged her and the other Weasley’s welcomed him as well. The whole family was in one place, it was perfect. Isobel smiled to herself and didn’t care much for the rest of the sorting.
A glass started to clink.
- Your attention, please. McGonagall said.
Everyone looked up at the professor’s table. Dumbledore stood up.
- Let the feast begin.
As he uttered the words, food appeared on the plates in front of them. Everyone gasped and dug in with their empty stomaches. Isobel put some broccoli on her plate.
- Izzie, with all the great food in front of you - and you still pick boring veggies? Ron asked while chewing on some chicken.
- I like broccoli! Mind your own business! Isobel replied with a laugh while putting some turkey on her plate.
- Just like being home, George said while chewing on some mashed potato.
Just like home, yeah. Isobel liked that. Hogwarts was her new home now.
- Say Percy, who’s that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell? Harry asked.
Isobel looked at the professor’s table, not knowing who was who.
- Oh, that’s Professor Snape. He’s head of Slytherin house, Percy replied.
- What’s he teach?
- Potions. But everyone knows it’s the Dark Arts he fancies. He’s been after Quirrell’s job for ages.
”Professor Snape” Isobel thought to herself. Fred and George had told her that he was a piece of work, extremely cruel. She got a bit frightened. It didn’t really get better when Ron suddenly screamed. A ghost had appeared in the plate of chicken.
- Hello! How are you? The ghost said looking around at all the new faces.
- Welcome to Gryffindor!
It got silent through the whole room, other ghosts appeared. Some students even screamed out of fear, other students of admiration. Isobel felt a bit awkward. She’s never seen a ghost before.
- Hello, Sir Nicholas. Had a nice summer? Percy asked.
Isobel admired him for speaking directly to the ghost.
- Dismal. Once again, my request to join the Headless Hunt has been denied.
The ghost floated away from the table.
- I know you. You’re Nearly Headless Nick! Ron said.
- I prefer Sir Nicholas, if you don’t mind, the ghost replied.
- ”Nearly” headless? How can you be nearly headless? Hermione asked.
Harry and Isobel rolled their eyes.
- Like this.
The ghost took a grip of its head and pulled so you could see down his throat. The one closest to him screamed. Isobel felt like she was going to throw up. She couldn’t eat any desert, like many others. It was ruined, and they were too tired. Soon, it was time to go to the Gryffindor tower. By thinking it was her first time going through Hogwarts, Isobel found some strength to walk again.

- Gryffindors, follow me please. Keep up. Thank you.
The first years were following Percy through the castle. They stopped at the staircases.
- This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye on the staircases. They like to change, Percy said with very formal voice. Keep up, please, and follow me!
Percy started to walk up the stairs. Everyone tried to keep the same pace. Isobel looked at the paintings, like everyone else.
- The picture’s moving! Someone said.
- Of course they were moving? Isobel thought to herself. She looked at people in the paintings and they looked back the them. Just as it uses to be. She could tell that Harry was very impressed by this.
- Welcome to Hogwarts.
One painting had even started to talk, one muggle girl almost fainted. They went along a long corridor, and at the end of it there was a big painting of an chubby woman in a pink dress. Percy stopped just a couple of feet from her.
- Password? The woman asked.
- Caput Draconis, Percy replied.
It proved to be right, because the woman nodded her head and the painting opened. Behind the painting was a doorway into another room. While inside Isobel noticed that the room’s theme colour was red. This was obviously the Gryffindor tower. There was a fireplace and a few couches. It looked so cozy.
- Gather around here, please.
Percy looked at the new students.
- Welcome to the Gryffindor common room. Boys’ dormitory is upstairs to the left. Girls, the same on your right. You’ll find all your belongings have already been brought up.
He walked away to join his classmates, while the first years looked around and then headed to their dormitories.
- Good night, Harry, Isobel said.
- Good night, Isobel, Harry replied.
- Yeah, good night, sis. Ron said, a bit upset she didn’t say good night to him first. How typical Ron.
Hermione waited for her in the stairway.
- Come, we’ll dips on the beds next to each other.
- Great... Isobel said ironically.
Hermione showed her up to the girls’ dormitory. She’d already fetched two beds close to the window. Their bags and Gryffindor scarfs, gloves and school uniforms was already laid out for them. All they could do now was to go to sleep.
- I think this will be a very exiting year. Don’t you? Hermione asked while they were lying in the very comfortable beds. Isobel nodded.
- Yeah. Good night.
Hermione replied and stared into the ceiling. Isobel turned her back on her, she was always sleeping better on the side. She was here. Hogwarts. Home. The beginning of a new life. Maybe she’ll find some answers about her parents while attending Hogwarts. Questions she’d had her whole life. Soon, the thoughts went away and Isobel fell asleep. She was home.